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Fertility Fact Friday

Sometimes for those of us going through infertility people just say the wrong things don’t they?  Adding more hurt to this difficult journey. For the most part, their intentions are good, but still, it is painful. In the month of December for Fertility Fact Friday’s, I’ll be posting about Infertility Etiquette. Etiquette is just a big word describing a ‘way to respond or behave towards others’. Having this information will help those around you know how to respond in a loving, proper way.  Visit next week as I list Infertility Etiquette for doctor’s!

Do you ever feel like your husband ‘just doesn’t get it?’  Hopefully the information below will help you convey your needs and feelings to him.  Consider printing it out, have him read it or read it together, possibly discussing the areas where you have been hurt. Hopefully the advice can improve your communication and relationship within your marriage.

Praying for you and your spouse today!

Feel free to contact the ministry for prayer and support!

Have a great weekend!


For Husbands

What to Say

  • “I accept you and love you know matter what.”
  • “I am in agreement with you and praying for our children too.”
  • “I am looking forward to having a family.”
  • “You are doing a great job in your walk of faith for our children.”
  • “I want a child just as much as you do.”
  • “I feel your frustration of unanswered prayer.”
  • “We can do whatever it takes.”
  • “I believe we will have a child.”
  • “No matter what, we together are a family forever!”
  • “My love for you will never change, whether we have a family or not.”
  • “We can try again next month.”
  • “Physical embrace, without words.”

What NOT to Say or Do

  • “It may not happen for us.”
  • About miscarriage:  ”It’s no big deal.”
  • “I am not as ready as you are.”
  • “Don’t worry your cycle will come again next month.”
  • The unwillingness to acknowledge there is a problem, and that we needed help.
  • Lack of faith to believe that God can do the impossible.
  • Asking too many “what if” questions.

How to Respond When She Starts Her Cycle

  • Just listen and comfort her.
  • “We will try again.”
  • “It’s okay, we are going to get through this, I still love you.”
  • “I’m praying for us. Our family is just right around the corner.”
  • Hold her, cry with her, try to understand.
  • Don’t act relieved.
  • Let her have her meltdown.
  • Give her space, time to wallow and then refocus.
  • Give reassurance.

Kind Gestures You Can Do for Your Wife

  • Request prayer at church for the two of you.
  • Buy a crib.
  • Go to all of the doctors appointments.
  • After each fertility treatment, buy a gift that would be useful in pregnancy, even though she isn’t pregnant yet!
  • Tend to her emotional needs.
  • Don’t try to fix it.
  • Find a infertility support group and attend together, or drive her to one for women.
  • Give her some space.
  • Send her a card on Mother’s Day.
  • Closeness and tender touch at the perfect moments.

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