for husbands

What to Say

  • “I accept you and love you know matter what.”
  • “I am in agreement with you and praying for our children too.”
  • “I am looking forward to having a family.”
  • “I admire your walk of faith for our children.”
  • “I want a child just as much as you do.”
  • “I feel your frustration of unanswered prayer.”
  • “We can do whatever it takes.”
  • “I believe we will have a child.”
  • “No matter what, we, together are a family forever!”
  • “My love for you will never change, whether we have a family or not.”
  • “We can try again next month.”
  •  Physical embrace, without words.


What NOT to Say or Do

  • “It may not happen for us.”
  • About miscarriage:  “It’s no big deal.”
  • “I am not as ready as you are.”
  • “Don’t worry your cycle will come again next month.”
  • The unwillingness to acknowledge there is a problem, and that we need help.
  • Lack of faith to believe that God can do the impossible.
  • Asking too many “what if?” questions.


How to Respond When She Starts Her Cycle

  • Just listen and comfort her.
  • “We will try again.”
  • “It’s okay, we are going to get through this, I love you.”
  • “I’m praying for us.”
  • Hold her, cry with her, try to understand.
  • Don’t act relieved.
  • Let her have her meltdown.
  • Give her space, time to wallow and then refocus.
  • Give reassurance.


Kind Gestures You Can Do for Your Wife

  • Request prayer at church for the two of you.
  • Suggest buying a baby item, together. (Use discretion on this gesture.)
  • Go to all of the doctors appointments.
  • After each fertility treatment, buy a card, write an encouraging sentiment.
  • Tend to her emotional needs.
  • Don’t try to fix it.
  • Find a infertility support group and attend together, or drive her to one for women.
  • Give her some space.
  • Send her a card to let her know you are thinking of her on Mother’s Day or any other family related holiday or gathering. 
  • Closeness and tender touch at the perfect moments.
  • After miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss consider acknowledging that life with something special.