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How to Respond – For the One Going through Infertility

I’m starting a monthly series of posts for Infertility Etiquette. The word etiquette originated in the mid 18th century from the French, essentially meaning ‘ticket’. Back in the day it was a list of ceremonial observances of a court. But in our 21st century it simply means manners. The way one behaves or responds.

I’ve always loved etiquette. Perhaps it’s because I had a stern, sweet mother who taught me well or it’s due to the fact I’m a southern girl. In fact my passion has turned into a small business. I have a program where I teach modern manners to children. And I love it!

Ok, now, where was I? Oh, yes, back to How to Respond! (smiles)

Most family, friends and ministry leaders have good intentions, but sometimes they fall short of expressing their love and concern to one who is struggling with infertility or infant loss. Etiquette prescribes a code of social behavior for a particular group. Gaining knowledge on how to respond gives support to your loved one, family member, friend or congregant. However, it needs to begin with us, those going through infertility. 

Listed below are some tidbits I came up with. Click link for more Infertility Etiquette insights.

What about you? How do you or have dealt with hurtful comments?

Please feel free to leave a comment. We can all learn from one another!




  • Forgive often.
  • Educate others about infertility.
  • Teach family and friends what to say and how to say it to you.
  • When on medication, or going through procedures, be gentle with yourself.
  • It is ok to say “No” to baby showers and children’s birthday parties.
  • Write thank you notes to those who have encouraged you.
  • Try to not be angry with your spouse, or anyone else!
  • Confront, then let go of your hurts; never hold onto them!
  • Show affection to your spouse; tell them “I love you” daily.
  • Look past the mouths’ of others and into their hearts; most have good intentions at hand.

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