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A Male’s Perspective

Hi Everyone,

I must say it’s a rarity in the ‘infertility’ world to hear a man’s point of view or how he feels in trying to grow his family.  This post is from Aaron Bunker. He recently wrote it for his wife, our contributing author Hannah Bunker for her blog, Waiting for Grace. I say lovely groom because today, 7.12.12 is their Fourth Wedding Anniversary!  Happy Anniversary you two!

The other evening in our support group one gal mentioned “We quickly dismiss the fact that our husbands aren’t caring and feeling what we as women go through, but that could be further from the truth. They Do!”  I must say I agree.

I believe you’ll enjoy Aaron’s post, feel free to share and pass it on to others!




Hannah has been asking me to write something on her blog for a long time and I have always been reluctant to do so because one, I am not talented with writing like my beautiful wife. I am a talker not a writer (which is why she most definitely helped with the editing of this post). But, I have also been hesitant because I did not want to write anything if I did not feel that God was in it. I did not want to write something just to write something. So, when I told Hannah that I wanted to write this post, she was more than willing to hear my heart and let me share that with you, her dear readers. Thank you Hannah, for your encouragement. I would not want to be on this journey of life with anyone but you.

There are many times during this struggle with infertility that Hannah and I have been angry at God and questioned His timing. There have been many times where we cried and all we could do was hold each other. There have been many moments of lifting one another up and reminding one another that God is faithful. However, recently I realized we have been holding back in something very important.

I was in our church’s choir practice recently and a lady, who did not know we had been trying to have a baby, came up to me and she asked me “Are you guys trying to get pregnant?” She had felt the Lord tell her that we had been actively pursuing parenthood and felt that she should share a scripture with us that had helped her during her struggle. The Scripture was Psalm 127. It is only 5 verses so I am going to share them with you out of the Message so you don’t have to go look them up.

If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks.

If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.

It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone.

Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?

Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.

Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children!

Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Right after I read this scripture I immediately begin to feel joy but I also began to feel a bit of conviction. Joy, because children are a gift and they are His legacy that he entrusts us with. On the opposite end of the spectrum I felt conviction. This is because, while I do feel that we have been standing strong in our faith, believing that God has a plan for us, I feel like we could take more opportunities to claim Scripture over our situation. It’s not just about having faith, but about taking the Words we already have in scripture and using them as weapons of faith in our lives. This fellow choir member was sent to remind me that I needed to work harder at standing on the scripture that says children are a gift from the Lord and believe that when I feel the enemy tries to attack. Hannah and I have been standing on the promise he has given us that we will have children. We just need to work harder at using the very scriptures in his Word, proclaiming those promises for our lives and for our children.

Recently in a group prayer the leader of the prayer said that we should ask God for anything and that He will give it to us. The first thing out of my mouth and to the Lord’s ears was “I want to lead my family in the right direction.” I did not say, “Let us have kids,” although Hannah and I desperately want to be parents. But, I want to lead this family in a Godly direction that puts Christ in the center. This starts with standing strong in the Word. I want us to stand on the promises God gives us through scripture and claim those promises for our lives. This journey with infertility is something I would never wish on anyone and it has been a painfully emotional and trying time for us, but we have a God who hears us. He hears our cries and He will answer them.

What other scripture verses have you stood on and claimed over your life during a time of struggle? What are some other verses that have encouraged you along the way? We want to stand on God’s word for our children and for our family. I believe we need each other for encouragement and strength. Will you stand strong with us? We are going to stand in the gap and pray for you as well in your journey with whatever you are facing.

If Hannah and I can be with you or pray with you about anything please let us know. If two or more are gathered in His name, He will be there. We want to join forces with you and with God and to not let the devil have his foothold in our lives any longer. We need to have weapons at our finger tips for when the devil begins to torment our minds or bring us down. We want to be ready the next time the enemy comes knocking. Because as Joshua said in Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Aaron Bunker

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