for Husbands

What to Say

  • “I accept you and love you know matter what.”
  • “I am in agreement with you and praying for our children too.”
  • “I am looking forward to having a family.”
  • “I admire your steadfast faith in Christ as we wait for our children.”
  • “I want a child just as much as you do.”
  • “I feel your frustration of unanswered prayer.”
  • “We can do whatever it takes.”
  • “I believe we will have a child.”
  • “No matter what, we together are a family forever!”
  • “My love for you will never change, whether we have a children or not.”
  • “We can try again next month.”
  • “Physical embrace, without words.”

What NOT to Say or Do

  • “It may not happen for us.”
  • About miscarriage:  ”It’s no big deal.”
  • “I am not as ready as you are.”
  • “Don’t worry your cycle will come again next month.”
  • The unwillingness to acknowledge there is a problem, and that we needed help.
  • Lack of faith to believe that God can do the impossible.
  • Asking too many “what if” questions.

How to Respond When She Starts Her Cycle

  • Just listen and comfort her.
  • “We will try again.”
  • “It’s okay, we are going to get through this, I still love you.”
  • “I’m praying for us. I believe our answer to prayer is just right around the corner.”
  • Hold her, cry with her, try to understand.
  • Don’t act relieved.
  • Let her have her meltdown.
  • Give her space, time to wallow and then refocus.
  • Give reassurance.

Kind Gestures You Can Do for Your Wife

  • Request prayer at church for the two of you.
  • Suggest buying a crib, together. *Husbands, this may or may not be the best suggestion. It could cause more hurt than help. You be the judge.
  • Go to all of the doctors appointments.
  • After each fertility treatment, buy a gift that would be useful in pregnancy, even though she isn’t pregnant yet!
  • Tend to her emotional needs.
  • Don’t try to fix it.
  • Find a infertility support group and attend together, or drive her to one for women.
  • Give her some space.
  • Send her a card on Mother’s Day. Not a necessarily a Mother’s Day card, but a card to let her know she is not forgotten.
  • Closeness and tender touch at the perfect moments.
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