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This Day…

My mom and me

All across the United States there are three words spoken to celebrate this day, “Happy Mother’s Day!” a day where we honor and recognize our mother’s.

This day a double-edged dagger comes close to my heart.

I have no Mom to say, “Happy Mother’s Day” to and I have no children of my own to say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” to me.

But I resist the dagger’s piercing point and I say, this day, “No weapon formed against me will prosper!” Isaiah 54:17.  I will not allow three words to get me down and I encourage you to do the same!

For years, on Mother’s Day, I’ve had a special delivery, hand-engraved invitation requesting my presence to a ‘pity party’. When I attended I was always the ‘life of the party’ participating in and playing the game called the Emotional Roller Coaster. But this day, I refused the invitation.

Never in my wildest dreams would I think my mother and her sweet presence would not be here today to celebrate. Gone is the chance to commemorate her uniqueness, to admire her gifts and honor her role as a mother…and to tell her so.  The opportunity fleeting as was her last breath.

But this day, I choose to remember her last words to me, “I need you to be strong.” (read this recent post, http://dancinguponbarrenland.com/2011/03/i-need-you-to-be-strong/ ).  I knew her very well, she wouldn’t want me to be wailing and crying over her not being here.  I cried so many tears her last days here on earth, why cry more?

With my thoughts written here, it may sound crass, cold, un-empathetic (if there is such a word). Truly, it’s not. If anything these experiences have left an indelible mark on my heart, an empathy and compassion for those desiring children and now, for those who have lost their precious mothers.

I don’t know what you are experiencing today, maybe it’s the longing to be a mother yet to be fulfilled, or maybe you’ve lost your mom as well or you’re like me and dealing with both on this Mother’s Day. This scripture keeps coming to me…

“In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul.”

Psalm 94:19.

You may ask, “But Lesli, how can I find comfort when my heart is in so much pain? How can you have joy in the midst of years of longing for children?  After losing your mom two weeks ago, how come you are not upset as Mother’s Day is celebrated today?”

I’ve come to realize scripture can be swirling around in our heads. We can profess, confess, read and recite scripture over and over until we are blue in the face. The key is getting it down from your head and into your heart.

It’s called revelation.

Have you checked lately?  There is a bit of distance from your head to your heart. So it may take some time. I say to you, ‘Keep on keeping on!’ Press into Jesus; cry out and aloud with tears to the One who can mend your broken heart. Learn how to trust, keep believing in His Word.

I am putting a disclaimer on what I’ve written.  I am not perfect person and I am not a perfect Christian, I have ‘my moment’s’. But I can say the tears, heartache and disappointment of infertility are feelings which few and far between in my life now. God has done this for me and I know He can do it for you!

One day you’ll see three little words won’t ruin your day or your life.

I love you with the love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

Lesli

Leave a comment

Renee Reagan

Les, such an honest, good word. I thought about you often today. I thought about you as I took Martha out to dinner tonight. She just loved being with her children for simple, good times, just being together. You can’t do that anymore with your mom and I CANNOT IMAGINE THAT. I love you and am thinking of you, praying for God to comfort you during this time. I pray for Him to give you the strength you need. Thank you for your post. It helps me to be more sensitive to my mom.
Love you,
Nay

Becki Guillory

This is wonderful Les. It has left an indelible mark, and in your compassion and empathy, you encourage and comfort others. I am so blessed to know you, and watch you live out your faith before my eyes. I love the verse you shared also. I too, as you suggested, went all out for my Mom today. I see our relationship from a new perspective because of your touching words. I love you, and thank God for you. May God be the comforter of those desiring children, and those missing their Moms today.

Maureen Thornton

Hi Lesli,

I too, am in the same boat as you, having lost my wonderful Mom close to 8 years ago now. My awesome Husband & I eagerly await the arrival of our first children. I too, with God’s help, chose to not allow myself to attend the usual “pity party” this year! I also decreed, declared, proclaimed & prophesied just before last Christmas that 2010 would be the last year with empty arms & an empty womb. That means that this Mother’s Day is also the last one!! Hallelujah, I had quite a celebration in the Lord’s presence today glorifying His Wonderful Name!!
Thank you for all of your encouragement especially during the difficult time of saying goodbye (for now) to your Mom!! Looking forward to hearing your pregnancy announcement soon:)

In Christ’s Love,
Maureen

Lesli Westfall

Thanks so much Maureen. Your words brought tears to my eyes and placed more hope in my heart. So sorry for your loss. One can always sympathize with you when you lose a loved one, but until one has actually lost a parent you still don’t know. Thankfully, our belief in the promise of the One who gives eternal life is ours now and forevermore. The Lord bless you! Maybe we’ll be shouting our news together soon!

God bless, take care of yourself,
Lesli

Lesli Westfall

Nay and Bec, thanks so much for your words! You know how much they mean to me. I love ya both!

Les

Heather

Wonderful Les! So honest, so true! Thank you for sharing, you help so many with your gift of words.
H