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This Box

Do you recognize this box?

It’s an empty fertility meds box.

Why would I post a picture of this?

This box once held thousands of dollars of self-injectable fertility medicine. Now, it’s trash, destined for the recycle bin.

This box once hid amongst my pots and pans in my kitchen island.  Why? A logical reason. It was the nearest to the refrigerator where the fertility meds were stored. I kept it hidden, too embarrassed at the thought of anyone knowing.

This box now resides amongst a pile of shoes in the laundry room.

This box has a date on it. A past reminder of what could have been, a present reminder to keep holding on. A dream I can’t bare to throw away.

You might ask, “Why do you even keep that box?”

My reply, “When I see it, I think of…

~ A gracious husband who worked hard giving thousands of dollars towards a dream.

~ A time when the pain was as deep as the longing.

~ A time when the depth of God’s love reached down to the depth of my pain.

~ A time to pray. A time to pray for you, dear reader.

Yes, as odd as it sounds, when I see the box (and that is often) I think of and pray for you. My heart is full of God’s compassion for you.

As lonely as it feels, you are not alone.

As forgotten as you think you are, you are forever on His mind.

I pray you’ll keep that close to your heart today.

Lesli

P.S. I married a giant. He wears big shoes.

___

For today’s Monday Morning Prayer I’m including two different prayers; a prayer for Wholeness and Completeness, which we all could use, and a new one, Stopping Fertility Treatments which will be published in my upcoming book, Dancing Upon Barren Land – Prayer, Scripture Reflections & Hope for Infertility. 

WHOLENESS / COMPLETENESS

“Heavenly Father, in your Word you said when you made creation, man and woman, you looked upon them and saw that ‘it was very good.’ Father, my empty womb has caused me to feel bad, like less of a woman, incomplete. Father in heaven, as Your Word says, through faith in You, help me to endure this fertility journey. I thank You that I am complete in spirit, soul and body, lacking in nothing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Genesis 1:31, Colossians 2:10, James 1:4

STOPPING FERTILITY TREATMENTS

“Heavenly Father, as a couple we feel we should discontinue fertility treatments due to or because of __________________. We believe when we married, You placed the desire in our hearts to have a family. We purpose to seek and delight in You and thank You as You bring about the desires of our hearts. Stopping treatment is hard and feels like failure and feels as if there is no plan or next step in sight, but we ask You to fill us with confidence and complete trust in You. We believe You’ll bless and order our steps completing what You began in us—the desire for children. In Jesus name, amen.”

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Kaye

I thought I was the only one keeping old medication packages. Lol.
Thank you for the Stopping fertility treatments prayer. So timely and a true reflection of how I felt.

Janet

I made my husband bring all of my meds to the fertility clinic. I didn’t want to look at them and I hoped that they would be able to give them to someone in need.

A timely message after spending a day taking photos of my sweet friends’ precious babies and spending hours looking at them on the computer. It’s been a lonely few days, longing for my own babies to take pictures of during this Christmas season. Every once in a while it hits you, ya know? And you just need to grieve for a moment. But I pull up my big-girl panties and keep pressing on and believing.

You are not forgotten either, sweet Les. You are in the hearts, minds, and prayers of those of us who love you dearly and appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.

Beautiful post.

Lesli Westfall

Hi Janet,

That is a great idea. Especially if it is a painful reminder to see the boxes. I hope they were able to re-prescribe your leftover meds to someone in need. What a great benefit that would be.

God bless,
Lesli

Lesli Westfall

Thanks Hannah!

Lesli Westfall

Kaye,

Glad to know the prayer is a help and inspiration. When I was researching in writing the book, that was one of the #1 topics couples dealt with.

Lesli